Anxious or Excitement?
Episode #68: Welcome to the She Builds Show, I’m your host, Stefanie Olson and this week I’m sharing with you some moments from one of the most difficult couple of months of my life. I hope that my experience and lessons that I have learned can somehow help you in your journey through this life. Please excuse the little background hum, as when I recorded this, there was a generator nearby.
Ready? Listen in…
SHOWNOTES:
• I hope today I find you well and even if I don’t, I hope you take a minute to listen. I’ll just start with that the last two months have been some of the hardest of my life and the last week was kind of a breaking point for me. So many things had happened and it had gone on for so long that even during my husband and I have just recently started therapy up again and I think more so just so we can communicate better. Nothing’s essentially wrong. It’s just, I don’t ever want there to be anything wrong and if we could do better and communicate more and ensure our love, I want to commit to that. And I had a little meltdown in our session last week and the therapist immediately told me, because I was just crying like I hadn’t had anybody ask me how I was doing. I haven’t had a moment to express the pain, the sorrow, the sadness, the hurt that I had experienced over the last period of time and I had a moment and it just all came pouring out. (00:30)
• I’ve had a lot of external circumstances contribute to my inability to cope or manage or not feel overwhelmed. And so I decided on Friday that it was time for me to take this back. It was time for me to get out of this hole. I had maybe seen a bottom I hadn’t seen in a long time, but it didn’t mean that I couldn’t see the light. And I had somebody say, you aren’t in a well, you’re just in a tunnel and just keep walking. The light is coming. And I’m like, you know what? They’re right. I’m just going to keep walking. The light is there. I’m not stuck at the bottom of a well. It’s just a little dark and I need to keep walking towards the light. And so I took my phone on Friday, and I just decided not to check my email. I decided to turn it off and just focus on my family. We had a really fun, incredible kind of family reunion celebrating both of my parents’ 70th birthday party. And it was exactly what I needed. (04:03)
• And she spoke all those things that I had said to her back to me and it, it washed life over me again. And I was just so grateful for that moment because she’s somebody that I hold so dear to my heart and somebody that even if we hadn’t seen each other in far too long, the commitment of who we are in Christ and who we are as people remains foundationally strong. And that’s what I needed to be able to see the light to guide me out of the darkness of the tunnel. And the other thing that happened, I think it was yesterday I had, you know, over the past few months, my routine, my normalness, everything that had been going on kind of been disrupted. And you know, when you feel out of control and you feel the drifting, I just was like, Stefanie, go back to the basics, get up early, even if you don’t want to, because that is your time to feed your soul. That is your time that you need. And so I just got up and I walked out to the gym and I did not want to, I was exhausted. I was tired. And I just turned on the podcast that I normally listen to. And the message yesterday was about anxiety. (07:24)
• So I allowed the circumstances in my life that I am riddled with anxiety about, to be something I’m excited about. And so she just kept saying, tell yourself you’re excited. And so I just screamed it. I’m like, I’m excited. I’m excited for the next chapter. I’m excited for the opportunities I’ve been given. I’m excited. And instead of being anxious, I just replaced it with I’m excited and walking into a room or going into the next circumstance. When I walk into my team meeting or with the people that I work with or I’m surrounded with and I’m excited for the next thing, you know what that makes them, it makes them excited and it rubs off on people and it helps them to come together and not be riddled by the anxiousness of what’s coming, but to be excited. Wouldn’t you rather go through life being excited than anxious about everything? And so that’s my path this week is to recognize the anxiety, do the things that I know keeps me balanced and keeps me from drifting. So I went back to the basics of what keeps me healthy mentally, physically, and in my soul. (11:56)z
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