Can We Be Mothers and Hustlers?

Episode 39: Welcome to the She Builds Show, I’m your host, Stefanie Olson. Today, I want to talk to you about your time. What is time? How much of it do we have? Are we really conscious of the limited amount that we’ve been given? The other day, my dad asked me why I wasn’t pursuing this particular project, it was a 24-lot subdivision, and first starters, I didn’t have enough capital to make the project work, but my underlying true reason for it was time, I kept getting this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that my time would be sucked away. And I’ve spent a lot of my adult life working and hustling and grinding and working more. A large part of me just wanted a manageable life, I didn’t want to be overrun and overwhelmed by a project that left me stressed and not present with my family and not available for my kids. I hadn’t really listened to that part of myself before, I really wanted to be conscious of what this choice would do to the people around me, I would say that this is maturity.

Ready to listen in? Let’s go…


•  I chose time over more money and more stress, this hasn’t been a usual choice for me, I’m a go-getter, I’m a hustler. But you know what? I’m also a mom and a wife, and I want to make food for my family, I want to pick up my kids from school, I don’t want to let my kids down because I didn’t attend their play or their soccer game. I feel like right now is the season where my family feels more important than anything else. Have you ever felt like that? Do you ever wonder deep down if you’re spending your time, how your soul desires for you to spend it? Do you ever have a yearning for this? I think I have, and I also think I’ve been ignoring it. I say, I want to do that, and then something comes up and it’s the first thing to get booted from my priority list. Why do we do this? What do we give up the thing that’s most important to me the quickest? Why is this what is expected in our culture, that family is a secret in the working world, and anyone with any other priorities… Isn’t grinding hard enough? I want to call BS on this. (02:07)

•   I have a strong desire to be a present mother, one who pours over her children and has a strong connection with them. One who provides meals in a safe home and just someone they can talk to. Someone who puts their phone down when they speak, someone who showers them with time, uninterrupted time. But I also want to be successful, and I want to have a large impact on this world. I want to help women achieve their dreams and live boldly. Doesn’t it feel like these things are opposing forces pulling at one another? I want to stay at home and be a mom, and I want to change the world and help and serve as many people as I can. Are they opposites? Why does it have to be one or the other? I wish I could gather all the mothers out there with a dream and limited time and make a group of bad to the bone women who want to change the world, but also support motherhood and being incredible wives, does that exist? Can we have both? I want to have both and I want to do both well. Do you struggle with this? I have a feeling that every mother and wife does, how could you not? (03:17)

•  There’s just this underlying guilt that we’re just failing at something in some area of life all the time. I want to tell you today that I see you, you’re not failing. But you do need to listen to the callings of your soul. And stop ignoring them. Change your schedule. Make the hard choices. Be there to pick up your kids, stay at home in the morning to take them to school, be at home at night to make sitting down for dinner a priority, and stop apologizing for giving birth to the most amazing people on this planet, they are a gift. And so are you, my darling.  (04:28)

•  I am going to work on this and stop worrying about all the pressure and all the things, and know that I want to live my life to the fullest and fully without regret, be true to yourself today, my love. Spend your time wisely, choose what you’re going to do with it, and don’t apologize. I hope you have the most blessed day. Take care.  (05:06)


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