01 Sep Moms Balancing Act – Life is Messy
Episode #4: Welcome to the She Builds Show, I’m your host, Stefanie Olson. Today, I want to talk about being a mom, what it’s like to balance life with working and how it’s just messy. My biggest problem is that honestly, I’m too good at too many things. I’m just extremely competent at most things you asked me to do aside from creating your website, I’m pretty capable. And honestly, this can be one of my biggest weaknesses. I let what I’m competent at and what I’m excellent at overtake my genius. We’re all good at certain things. We’re all great or excellent and other things. And then there’s our genius. What nobody else can do. There are four words that are the entrepreneur’s ultimate downfall. I’ll do it myself. That’s my downfall. This is what keeps me from being able to balance life. These four words, I’ll do it myself.
Ready? Listen is…
• These four words I’ll do it myself. No, no, no. You don’t have to do that. I’ll do it myself. Oh no, no, no. I got it. I’ll do it myself. Oh, it’s okay. I got it. I don’t need your help. Instead of teaching, instead of passing on knowledge, instead of truly focusing and spending my work hours on my genius. I’m bidding jobs, I’m checking in on subs, I’m responding to emails, I’m doing the books, I’m writing the checks, I’m answering the sales calls. I’m designing the project and the list goes on and on and on instead of truly focusing in on my genius. (02:04)
• So I’m going to have to teach. I’m going to have to delegate and choose my family over and over. I mess it up. I drown in the busy-ness and then I have to make different choices next time. Someone told me once that you can’t ever just arrive at perfect balance between work and home life, it’s not attainable. They told me it’s a counter balancing. You have to go over here and balance that and then go over there and balance that. But it’s not this, shut it off, cut it off, can’t bring it home, don’t know what to do with it, can’t talk about it. It’s this counter balancing. So one thing needs more attention than the other. At certain times it’s a constant movement back and forth, not in a bad way, but one once you’re able to balance that correctly in the counter balancing, it does create balance. (04:19)
• I spent the whole full weekend with my husband, cleaning out his garage and shop. This has been a five-year gig I’ve been avoiding. I take care of the house. You take care of the shop in the garage. And my husband wasn’t born with the gift of organizing, so I just literally shut it off from my brain from having to help him, but we really needed to take care of it. So I helped him, and we bit off way more than we could chew. And on Sunday I had plans to spend the afternoon with my daughter getting our nails done. She had been asking me all week, but my husband, he couldn’t finish the job on his own. And he had stuff scattered throughout the entire yard and I knew he just couldn’t start Monday with stuff everywhere. So I sacrificed the time with my daughter to spend it with my husband. She was in tears and she was so upset with me. I was heartbroken. I told her I would make it up to her. I promised her, you want to know what she said to me? She said, I knew you would do this. Oh, those words cut like a knife. (05:28)
• But when I woke up on Monday, I get the disappointment of my sweet girl’s face out of my head. So I decided to counterbalance. I was upfront and honest with my team. I told them I screwed up with my little girl and I needed to give her my afternoon. And I was hoping they would be okay to reschedule for the next day for our meeting. We had some schedule work arounds, but we got it figured out. And I freed up my afternoon and I went and surprised her. She was a static. She was like, what are we doing, mom? Why are you just picking me up? It’s like, babe, we’re going to go get our nails done. (07:13)
WAYS TO CONNECT WITH STEFANIE…