Real Life with Jaime Kinross
Episode #96: Welcome to the She Builds Show! In this episode, we have the pleasure of sitting down with the incredible Jamie Kinross, a 26-year-old interior decorator, content creator, and home décor social media influencer based in the picturesque state of Utah.
Join us as we delve into the real-life journey of Jamie Kinross, a passionate and talented individual who has turned her love for interior design into a thriving career. Experience the joys, challenges, and revelations that have shaped her journey from a passionate home décor enthusiast to a respected influencer in the industry. Tune in and be captivated by her creative spirit, dedication, and her unwavering outlook on life, which revolves around showing kindness to everyone she encounters.
ABOUT JAIME KINROSS:
Meet Jamie Kinross, a 26-year-old interior decorator, content creator, and home décor social media influencer based in the beautiful state of Utah. Jamie and her husband share a passion for home décor and together, they love doing various projects to personalize their builder-grade home.
Aside from her love for interior design, Jamie also enjoys the great outdoors and spending quality time with her family, including her adorable dogs. She takes pride in creating engaging and inspiring content for her followers on various social media platforms, sharing her insights, tips, and tricks to help people create spaces they will love.
With her creativity and a keen eye for design, Jamie has quickly become a trusted name in the world of interior decorating and home décor. Her infectious passion for all things home design has earned her a large following, and she continues to inspire many through her content.
Jamie’s dedication to her craft and her friendly personality makes her a joy to work with. She is always up for new projects, collaborations, and partnerships that align with her values of quality, creativity, and authenticity.
CONNECT WITH JAIME:
• Website: https://linktr.ee/Jamielee_designs
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamielee_designs
WAYS TO CONNECT WITH STEFANIE…
• Website: https://shebuildshomes.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shebuildsbetter
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shebuilds.homes
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/shebuildsshow
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
0:01 Welcome to the She Builds Show.
0:03 I’m your host, Stefanie Olson, a licensed general contractor who builds new construction, renovates and designs your vision today.
0:12 More than ever we need raw, authentic women who are willing to rise above society’s norms, break those glass ceilings and encourage each other to boldly build the life we were meant to live.
0:24 So, honey, what are you building?
0:27 All right.
0:28 Welcome to the She Builds Show.
0:29 Today we have an incredible guest from Utah, Jaime Lee Kinross, jamielee, which is her middle name to design.
0:37 Welcome to the show.
0:38 Thank you for having me.
0:40 I’m excited to be here.
0:41 Yes.
0:42 Ok.
0:42 So like where are you sitting?
0:44 Because that’s the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen.
0:45 Oh, thank you.
0:47 This is my office in my home.
0:49 I absolutely love that.
0:50 I’m able to work from home.
0:51 This was actually one of my more recent projects that not going to show you.
0:56 But you know, it’s like in the 90% finished club because that’s how that works.
1:00 This is my home office where everything happens.
1:03 I spend a lot of time in here.
1:05 So I’m really thankful that it functions, and it is how I like it to be other than the 10% that’s not finished.
1:12 Totally.
1:13 Every time I go to the bathroom in my bathroom, the faucet and the tub drips and I’m like, I fixed it so many times and it’s like a really expensive bridge faucet and I know it’s the faucet and I’m like, I need to get that fixed and, because, like, yeah, I, like, sit down.
1:30 It’s like, so I feel you and you’re probably the only person that notices no one would walk in my office and notice the 10% not done.
1:38 But I know it’s there, right.
1:41 I know.
1:41 I see how I feel.
1:43 Ok.
1:43 So give me like, I want to know, how did we get to Jamie Lee design?
1:49 Like, how did this come about?
1:51 Where did it start?
1:53 Give me a little bit of history.
1:56 Yeah, I’d love to.
1:57 So I actually, I just turned 26 last week.
2:00 Well, no, two weeks ago, I guess a week and a half, and I have just always had a passion for creativity.
2:07 It’s actually kind of like conflicting.
2:09 I’m really more of a right brain, like logical thinker.
2:12 And so the fact that creativity fuels my fire is also a little interesting.
2:18 It’s just like a combination of bulk.
2:20 So growing up, I always loved like anything in interiors.
2:24 I would just be so fascinated.
2:26 I remember loving Barbies but not wanting to play Barbies just wanting to set the house up and decorate the little rooms and set up the little items.
2:34 And so I’ve always had a fascination with it.
2:36 And my mom told me one time when I was young that I had said to her, we were on a vacation and I said to her, I want to be the person that picks out hotel carpet.
2:45 And my mom was like, what I’m like, it’s like so round about my mom vividly remembered that she’s like I had said, like, they’re always just so ugly and I don’t like them, and I want to be the person that gets to pick the carpet.
2:57 My mom was like, ok, like, that’s really straight.
3:00 But all right, that you, we can work this.
3:03 Yeah, she just was like, oh, ok, interesting.
3:06 Moving on and so fast forward when I got into high school for my art credits, I always took like, any of the interior courses that were offered, and which were very minimal in high school.
3:16 But I took all of them and I loved them, and I just had so much passion for it.
3:21 And then when I got into college, my university that I attended didn’t offer a degree in design.
3:27 And I was like, well, I don’t want to get a college degree in something I’m not interested in.
3:32 So I just was like, I’ll do communications up across the board major that’ll work for me.
3:38 And I just for all of my art credit.
3:40 I just took all the design courses that were offered and got an interior design certificate.
3:46 At first, I was like, it’s a certificate.
3:48 It’s not a degree.
3:49 What am I going to do with that?
3:50 Like, that doesn’t work.
3:51 And so I had decided I was like; I think I want to go to law school.
3:55 Like, my family owns a collection law firm and I’d worked there all through high school and college.
4:00 So I was like, I know it.
4:01 I’m good at it.
4:02 My aunt’s an attorney, like maybe that’s what I’ll do.
4:05 And at the time, my husband and I had just got engaged and bought our first house and it was an old home.
4:12 It was built in 1929 and beautiful, like so much character.
4:16 But I just was like, I want to make this place mine.
4:19 And so we gutted it and I had just been sharing it on like my personal social media because it was fun and putting a lot of time and money and energy into it.
4:29 And the more I shared it, the more people loved it.
4:32 And I was finding that I was like, ok, there’s something here like people are enjoying this.
4:38 And so I just kind of kept sharing and then I ended up getting a job with a local construction company who built luxury homes and I started working there and I really enjoyed it and I started doing their social media and I was like, ok, I think that I’m going to make my own page to share just my home decor stuff because, you know, I’m not just one thing and I’m my personal, I’m sharing Happy Birthday.
5:02 Here’s cute pictures of my dogs and yeah, it was just, yeah, you know, like a normal person.
5:07 And so I was like, I’m going to do this and just specifically focus on the home decor and renovating our home.
5:14 And I was amazed it blew up like, so quick, so quickly.
5:21 And I just was like, oh, ok.
5:22 This is interesting.
5:24 And then I started having people reach out to me, like, can I pay you to decorate my home can and then companies can we send you this product or pay you to promote this product?
5:33 And I remember thinking, that’s a little sketchy like this doesn’t seem quite right.
5:38 And again, this looked like almost four years ago.
5:41 So it wasn’t quite a thing to be a social media influencer.
5:44 And so I was like, this seems a little sketchy, but sure, here’s my address to a company and it got to the point where I was taking on my own clients and doing brand collaborations and all those things while working a full-time job and still finishing up in school.
6:02 And I just was like, this is becoming a lot.
6:05 I remember just being exhausted because I was working two full time jobs essentially.
6:11 And my sweet husband was just like you need to pick and there’s only one right answer like you need to pursue like you need to do what you want to do.
6:20 And backstory.
6:22 My family is full of entrepreneurs; the majority of my family is self-employed.
6:27 And so I just in my heart of hearts, I was like, he’s right.
6:31 He’s so right.
6:32 Like this is what I need to do.
6:34 And in 2019, I went full time for myself, and it was just like this huge transition.
6:43 We at this time had bought our second home.
6:45 It was a brand-new build, but it was just a stuck home.
6:48 So very cookie cutter builder, great.
6:51 And I just put all of my time and energy and effort into just making it at home.
6:56 And again, my social media just grew, and I was like, this is insane.
7:01 And so I with support of my husband, obviously, it was just like putting all my effort into doing that and that’s just, it just blew up unexpectedly.
7:11 I did not expect it to turn out the way that it did, but I was just obviously so happy, and mind blown and surprised, but it just like fuels my fire to do creative things.
7:21 And so getting to make it like my job is insane.
7:27 That’s so cool.
7:28 I love that, you know, to have your family support and to be able to go out and do that.
7:33 I love that.
7:35 There’s just a transition in our world right now that at your age, you get to choose where, you know, in my generation, it was like you go to school and you get a job and like you stock it up for 90 years and then maybe I retire, you know, like it just went that and even more so like with my parents and I just loved that, that is a really positive side of social media that if there is something that you put out into the world that’s received, that there is an opportunity to make money from it and to do what you love.
8:14 And you know, how else could you have done that?
8:17 You know, if you didn’t have that opportunity and it’s just cool to see people take a hold of that and be willing to share with the world 100%.
8:29 And to like, I remember also when, you know, it’s just a natural conversation when you meet someone, oh, what do you do for a living?
8:36 You know, I found myself, my husband had pointed this out a couple months into my social media being bigger and me like taking it on full time.
8:44 He’s like you say that you’re in social media marketing.
8:47 He’s like, which is true.
8:48 That is a true statement.
8:49 You’re not lying.
8:50 And he’s like, but I also feel like you’re almost like suffocating what you’re doing.
8:55 And I was like, it was more so fear of judgment because again, four years ago it wasn’t normal, right?
9:02 Like I’m like, oh yeah, I make money off of Instagram and people are like, oh yeah, OK.
9:06 Sure.
9:06 Yeah, they, and so he’s like, why are you doing that?
9:10 Like, don’t belittle the experience.
9:12 And I was like, again, you’re right.
9:13 Why are you always?
9:14 Right.
9:15 And so I finally transitioned myself into being like, you’re right.
9:21 I am a social media home decor influencer.
9:23 And now it’s kind of transformed where people know what you’re talking about.
9:28 But there’s also a lot of shame around the term influencer.
9:31 And I actually went to an event last month and someone said, I hate the word influencer.
9:35 And then it was like, we were introducing what we do and then I came up and I was like, I have a social media influencer and she just was like sheet white and I’m like, no, no, no, it’s totally fine.
9:45 There’s lots of hostility towards the word, but it’s however you want to influence someone, it doesn’t have to be negative.
9:51 I influence people to love their home and create a space they love.
9:55 I’m not influencing you to buy things you don’t need.
9:58 But if you are, you know, inspiration rather than like influence because I think it does have like a negative and it’s like you picture the like, I don’t know, you know, and like just like some obnoxious human that just like doesn’t give presence to like, what’s happening in front of them and like, is that a struggle for you?
10:21 Like, how do you separate?
10:23 Because there’s a part of me that’s like, yes, like I want to share those things, you know, with the world, but there’s also like, that’s not my gift.
10:33 And I, for as long as I can remember, I’ve been very, very private and like, my father was like, he wouldn’t be able to let anybody like go into his quick books or like he had password protected everything.
10:46 Like he wouldn’t share shit with anyone.
10:49 And so like I come from this, like nobody knows your business ever type of mentality.
10:56 And it’s hard to, to just put yourself out there and then be secure in that.
11:03 What’s been the struggle or like the hardest thing or the thing that you know, besides like the obvious judgment of someone being like you’re an influencer and now I hate you because you’re probably dumb is like the judging.
11:16 Yeah.
11:17 But well, yeah, and the hardest thing because there’s so many positive things.
11:21 But I also think people think like we just put them online and nobody thinks that we struggle with anything.
11:27 Mine would actually be the opposite.
11:29 I am not a very private person.
11:32 I like my friends and my family will laugh like there’s not much I won’t share.
11:37 I am pretty open.
11:39 Like if you follow me on social media for a long time, like I’m the type of person that’ll post toilet selfies.
11:45 Like I am just an over sharer by nature.
11:49 And so honestly finding the balance of learning like, ok, where I need to keep private things private for me to feel safe has been my hardest part.
12:00 I’ve had to learn like I also am again by nature, just like someone who wants to love people and wants to just be friends with everyone.
12:09 And so learning that I will not be everyone’s cup of tea has been super hard for me.
12:14 I again, I’m very social and very outgoing and I have no problem.
12:19 My husband will say I’ll be talking to the random person in front of us at the checkout at the grocery store and he’ll be like, why don’t you introduce me?
12:26 I’m like, I have no idea who that person is.
12:28 He’s like, but you were talking to them like your best friends.
12:30 I’m like, oh we just, we’re having a conversation and so I been to BS, it’s spice.
12:36 I’m like, what do you mean?
12:37 We just met them.
12:39 And so I’m just that way by nature, I think sometimes with social media there is like you said, the positive of things blowing up and people being like, I love this, and this is awesome, and I want to enjoy you and I want to follow you.
12:51 But you also have like, you’re an idiot.
12:54 I hate this, this is ugly.
12:56 And so for me, it was trying to not take those things personal and also be like there are things people aren’t going to like you for and if it doesn’t bring you joy or peace to share those things because of the reaction you’re going to get, then don’t.
13:10 Right.
13:12 So that’s been really hard for me to be like a you’re not everyone’s cup of tea and b you don’t need to share everything, right?
13:20 Yeah, because I like you, you know, you get followers like as you start by just from the joy of your heart, you know, sharing what you’re doing and then you just like, you know, you get, when you cast a wide net, you get like the crabs and the meek people.
13:38I don’t know yet, right?
13:40 But you know like you don’t just get out the things that you want and so you’ve definitely sounds like you’ve experienced some of that.
13:48 Yeah.
13:48 And I will say for the most part like people laugh at me because again, for my age, I don’t like TikTok.
13:55 Like I really don’t, it’s not my place and people are always like, that’s so weird for someone your age.
14:01 Like everyone loves TikTok your age.
14:03 And to me personally, Instagram creates a community of people who like to rally for you and stand behind you and love you for you.
14:10 And I feel like TikTok, you can just blow up so fast that like people get this 12th video and they think they know you and who you are.
14:18 And I’ve just learned that like TikTok is not my place and Instagram is just like full of like loving people who want to be a part of my community.
14:29 Oh That’s beautiful.
14:30 And yeah, on it like our platform or anything.
14:33 But it’s, yeah, I had it either where I tell until I had to, you’re like until some stuff happened and yeah, people were mean, what has been the most?
14:47 Oh my gosh.
14:48 I can’t believe this happened to me moment.
14:52 Like, since you decided to go full time, like what has been, I can’t believe I get to live in this life and do the things I love because I, you know, it’s been what, four years now since that happened.
15:05 And a lot of times we get so much inspiration and push towards our goals and then we are like crap.
15:11 That’s a lot of work.
15:13 Yeah, but really tired and I’m frustrated and being an entrepreneur sucks and I work nine, you know.
15:20 Yeah, I’m, I’m living in that moment currently, but I’ll say I have a few like moments.
15:28 There’s a few that really stand out.
15:29 I’ll share a couple that were just like big for me, milestones and physically and mentally.
15:34 One of my bigger ones was obviously, I started working for myself in 2019 and 2020.
15:39 The pandemic hit, and I just remember thinking, oh my gosh, like I’ve transitioned my whole life to this and everyone’s struggling.
15:46 The last thing people are going to do is pay for unnecessary services.
15:51 Right.
15:51 And to my surprise 2020 everyone was stuck at home, and they were looking around thinking my home is ugly and I hate this.
15:58 And so for something that I thought was going to be detrimental to my business was actually one of the most successful years I’ve had to date, and I was mind blown.
16:08 I just was amazed at how many people wanted help and were excited and like, wanted to invest in their home because they were now working from home or just, you know, spending more time at home.
16:18 Right.
16:18 So that was a huge one for me when I thought it could be the worst year of my life.
16:22 It was one of the best and then another one for me was I think it was last year.
16:28 Right.
16:28 So much happens in a year.
16:30 But my husband is just the most amazing, most selfless person.
16:34 Like I could rave about him for hours and you know, him, you agree.
16:38 But he is just the hardest worker, and he hasn’t had, he works for a truck dealership.
16:44 And so he hasn’t had a personal vehicle for, it was almost four years because he just was like, I drive a work truck, like there’s no reason and I was able to purchase him his dream truck and it just was such a, like 3 60 for me.
16:57 I just was like; he always takes care of me.
16:59 He’s always supporting me, always pushing me to do better, do what I want.
17:03 And it was just like one of those moments that I was like, I get to do that for him.
17:06 All about those two were like life changing.
17:10 Yeah, I love that.
17:12 That you’re because I think in the midst of, you know, working for yourself and being married and I don’t know if you have kids yet, but that makes it more complicated and being able to value your husband in a manner that is like, totally their loved language.
17:30 You know, it, it totally his love language.
17:33 Totally his love language.
17:36 Yeah.
17:36 Like only love, like I know.
17:38 Right.
17:38 Oh my God.
17:39 The other day, my daughter, she had come home from hunting camp.
17:42 They, she spent like a week this summer at hunting camp, and she got her, hunt her seat and she gets in the truck and she’s like daddy.
17:47 We got to go to Dicks, and I got to get my, and my gun and all.
17:51 And I’m like, I look in my head and I go, is she only speaking your love language right now?
17:56 And he was just like, I’ve died and gone to heaven.
17:58 You know, he’s like, I’ve never been more proud.
18:01 Yeah.
18:01 I never, I never felt more loved.
18:05 I love that.
18:06 I love that for someone who decorates interiors, for a living.
18:10 I’m an outdoor person through and through.
18:12 I was raised outdoors.
18:14 Me and my husband live outdoors.
18:15 Like, you know, I love that.
18:17 That’s awesome.
18:18 I love that.
18:19 You found success and you gave that to somebody you love like that just speaks volumes about who you are.
18:26 Thank you.
18:27 Thank you.
18:29 I do want to talk about, you know, like the reality of what it means to actually be like an entrepreneur.
18:36 And, you know, you said you’re living in that space right now of just like, it’s hard, right?
18:43 Like it is that hard, it’s not.
18:46 And I feel like the only way you learn is by doing it wrong.
18:53 Like I think my brother, like my brother went to Wisconsin, he graduated, you know, with this business degree and then he went to business school, and he’s worked for these like top firms and like consulting and supply chain and all this stuff.
19:10 And I’m like, has it been easier for him because he got some schooling, you know, that I didn’t and like, my school is like the school of hard knocks where I just mess it up and then I fix it and I messed up and I fixed it.
19:25 I was like, that’s what life feels like for me.
19:27And I’m like, if I had three more years, like going to school somewhere, would that have helped me?
19:32 I don’t know.
19:33 Like I just, so that’s no, you know, I totally get what you’re saying because my husband, like I said, works for a dealership and he’s a salaried employee.
19:42 So for him, right?
19:42 He’s like kudos to you girl.
19:44 Like I know how much I’m working every week.
19:47 I know exactly what my paycheck is, right?
19:49 Like he is just one of those people that’s like, no, this is it.
19:52 And I’m one of those people that’s like I got to do better than that smart.
19:55 You we got to push ourselves.
19:57 And so for me personally, that aspect of it has been hard because like I said previously, I am more of a logical thinker sometimes.
20:04 And so sometimes I go logically, why am I not a salaried employee?
20:09 Yeah, why do I not have a 401k and tell the insurance paying for it?
20:14 I’m like, why is no one paying my insurance?
20:16 Why am I doing this?
20:18 And so there really are times where I have that.
20:20 Absolutely.
20:21 But again, my whole family is full of entrepreneurs.
20:25 Like I’m telling you both my sisters, both my parents, both my aunts, my grandparents, like I genuinely don’t know any different.
20:34 And so I think I’m fortunate to know that.
20:37 And when I was younger, my grandpa said a statement to me and if you know my grandparents, like I just envy them, I think that they are like the most amazing people in the world.
20:47 And he had said to me where he was like, I remember saying something along the lines of like I just don’t want to fail.
20:53 My grandpa was like, well, did you learn something?
20:55 And I was like, well, yeah.
20:56 And he’s like, it’s not a failure.
20:58 If you learn something, it’s a lesson.
21:00 And I just remember being, you’re right, as long as I learn something and I can do better, I didn’t fail.
21:06 And so to me that was like one of those things that, to this day, sometimes I’ll be like, it’s a really big opportunity or that’s a really big job or something.
21:15 And I’m like, I just, I don’t know if I have the bandwidth for that.
21:18 My grandpa’s like, that just comes back to me.
21:20 Well, you can’t fail if you learn something.
21:23 And so it’s been really big for me to just be like, whether you’re, as long as you’re learning, you’re not failing.
21:29 And I’m like, well, I’m learning a lot.
21:32 Some days.
21:32 I’m like, I’m pretty sure all I did this year was.
21:35 Yes.
21:36 Oh, my gosh.
21:37 I completely understand.
21:38 And I, I don’t know if that’s like a woman thing to just like, not be ok with failing.
21:48 I don’t know if it’s like in this business or if it’s just like me and you are the only two people that think that failing.
21:55 It’s like this thought in my head that doesn’t go away that like if something goes wrong, it’s like you’ve failed.
22:01 And like, you are a failure like that repeats in my head more than I want it to.
22:08 And I think that as much as like we want to say that like, yes, we’ve learned something.
22:14 I think that struggle is real.
22:16 I wish that that wasn’t the only way to learn.
22:20 Like I’m, I, I didn’t know like, yeah, I made a million dollars, and I learned some shit from them.
22:27 I learned a lot.
22:28 Yeah, I would say like as an entrepreneur, that is my number one struggle.
22:33 My number one, hold back is my fear of failing.
22:37 Like that’s my number one.
22:38 Hold back.
22:39 And that’s why I said when I was like, I’m kind of living in that moment, I’m comfortable and I’m struggling to like, push a little harder for fear of failure.
22:49 But that’s normal.
22:50 And I’m also trying really hard to sit with that and be like, ok, well, let’s work through this.
22:54 Why does that scare you?
22:56 Yeah.
22:56 But some days I’m like, it just does and we’re not talking about it.
22:59 Yeah, it just does because I’m terrified.
23:02 Ok.
23:02 Yeah, I completely agree.
23:05 And I think, you know, having like a, like my husband is the same way.
23:08 He’s just like, when I think that it’s like a failure, he’s like you’ve done XY and Z and like, you’ve come this far and like, you’re not going to give up now, like continue to go and everything that I’ve learned is so valuable and I’m sure my brother has made a lot more money than I have, but he’s not learned as much as I have.
23:33 You know, like, there’s just this kind of like grit that’s created inside of me that like when I want to quit and I don’t want to continue on that, it’s like you’re not that person like you are to continue on.
23:45 And like, this is what you are called to do.
23:47 And that’s why it was like, it’s been four years was like, do you still remember your, why?
23:52 Like, do you still remember why you’re doing this and who is and like, screw all those haters and you know, and you like, do your thing, girl, like you were meant to do it.
24:02 And that the other day I was doing a podcast and I told her, I was like, you inspired me today because I think we forget why you do it.
24:09 Like we just get in the minutia and the things, and we get so buried in all the details that we’re like, I like, just hope it’s that person or inspired.
24:20 Yeah.
24:20 And I think too, like, I’m, I’ll be as blunt as possible.
24:24 Like are there times where I’m like, I’m done, I’m going to go get a full time 9 to 5 where I can check out at 5 p.m. on Friday and be done.
24:35 Absolutely.
24:35 That crosses my brain all the time because you’re like, you’re every morning when I wake up every day.
24:43I think it just happened eight minutes ago.
24:45 Like it does, it crosses my mind and then there’s days where I’m able to wake up and I get to go to lunch with a sister or my sister or sister-in-law.
24:55 Like, can you, your nieces and nephews come play?
24:57 And I’m like, actually, yeah.
24:58 You know, like, there’s that high freedom that it also creates, that puts me back into my place of, like, you are so lucky to get to do this.
25:06 Yeah.
25:06 Right.
25:07 And like, you’re so blessed to be able to stay up at 2 a.m. and work on your laptop.
25:12 If it means you get to go to lunch with someone you want to tomorrow and things like that.
25:16 So I’ve, I’ve had to try really hard to, like, shift my brain and yeah, because obviously the worst ever, could you ever imagine just being like, can I have a day off?
25:28 You know, and like, and someone being like, no, I’d be like, oh, that’s not really a question.
25:34 I’d be like, yeah.
25:37 And I mean, like I said, I worked for my family business and honestly, I think that that was harder than working for a different company.
25:46 I feel like there was a lot of expectation that, you know, I probably worked more hours and stayed longer and followed the rules harder because I wanted to prove to my family that I was capable.
25:57 And so working, working for someone else was kind of a leisurely job.
26:02 Right.
26:02 Like I said, I went in, clocked in, clocked out, did my thing went home.
26:07 Yeah.
26:08 And one of the reasons my husband at the, one of the reasons my husband had said, like you’re done, it’s time for you to do this was because I was getting the mindset of like, that’s not my job and I’m not like that as a person.
26:19 So for my husband to be like, did you just say that like out loud?
26:23 Like that is not new.
26:25 That was another realization that I was like, that is taking a capacity of me.
26:30 But it shouldn’t.
26:32 Yeah, where you’re just like, you become somewhat bitter and, you know, like a little robot was the robot.
26:40 I seen that was sold but I wasn’t exceeding what I could be.
26:45 And it just, yeah, it was like, that was another epiphany when he was like, no, you’re not happy here.
26:51 You need to do your thing.
26:53 And I think that we just don’t realize that we do trade, set up the other stresses for new ones and 100% and we trade the 9 to 5 for the 5 to 9, you know.
27:05 Totally.
27:06 Totally.
27:07 Yeah.
27:07 And I mean, again, with self-employment, right.
27:10 There’s months I make triple what my husband makes and there’s months that I’m like, did I do anything this month?
27:18 So I’m like, what happened?
27:22 Right.
27:23 Where I’m like, did I know all of them were off?
27:25 Apparently, I did.
27:28 Yes.
27:28 My baby kind of showed me that, oh my gosh, I totally get it.
27:32 And I, you know, understand and I commend you and like sometimes you just have to realize that like I wasn’t sent here to just be some complacent robot.
27:43 Like I’m going to shake some shit up and you know, I’m going to do me.
27:49 And if I fail and learn a lot like that was the plan, if I inspire in someone else, like if I encourage them to do something and by everything that I learned by God, I’m going to write a book and I’m going to hopefully like, pass it on and help other women because I think it’s such a Cheron me and there’s not an and I have like a saying that’s like, because we have our why, right?
28:15 Like we have our why of like why we do it.
28:17 But I have a, what’s the reason that I can quit?
28:21 Like the one thing that if it happens, it’s ok for me to stop.
28:26 And that’s like my one thing is if my legs are cut off, like if I’m in a hospital and I cannot like physically move. Or something has happened physically to my body.
28:37 Like that’s my, it’s OK, Stefanie, you can quit.
28:41 Like that’s the one thing.
28:42 And so like every time I look down when some stuff happened and I’m like, I still got my legs, they’re still in here, they’re still there.
28:50 Not going to really get the perspective.
28:52 I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever, like, thought of that or have one.
28:56 Like, that’s a really interesting concept that I would love to, like, get into and think about more for myself.
29:01 I think that there should be an ok time when it’s too much when you can’t handle it or something significant happened to my family.
29:10 You know, like, I think that there’s times when there’s just stuff that you can’t keep going through.
29:15 You, you need to pause, and you need to sit in it, and you need to go through it.
29:19 And so like I wrote it down of like, it’s ok for you to quit when these things happen, and those things aren’t happening.
29:27 It’s not the reason.
29:28 And, and I think that that’s sometimes easier to get through the harder moments than it is to be like I started this because I was stupid, and I didn’t know what was in front of me and it was so exciting.
29:39 Yeah, for sure.
29:42 Yeah, maybe think about that and what, you know, that’s a really great perspective.
29:45 And I like, really want to look into that because I, again, on my social media, I am not shy.
29:51 I share what I want.
29:52 And part of my like failure issue was like; you can’t show that you’re struggling and you can’t show that you’re having a hard time.
30:01 And I quickly realized like, let’s not be attainable, that’s not life.
30:06 And once I started sharing the struggles and just even little things like I’m having an off day, like, whatever, my just community changed and my perspective changed of like, I’m not alone in the struggle.
30:17 And one of my big things too, I say this all the time, like everyone is going through something, everyone has something they’re going through that, you know, nothing about.
30:28 And I’ve always just been like, be kind love people, like, just be a genuinely kind person.
30:35 And so I’ve tried really hard to just whenever I share something that I’m struggling with, even if I’m like, it’s really hard for me to admit that I failed with this or that I am struggling with this in my mind.
30:45 I go, like, if it helps one person, just one, if it makes one person go, oh my gosh, like I’m not alone and how I’m feeling, then I’m like, that’s enough for me.
30:56 And so sometimes I’m struggling, and I don’t want to share, I just think of one person sitting there alone, struggling.
31:03 And I’m like, maybe all they need to do is hear someone else say I’m having a bad day.
31:07 Yeah.
31:07 I’ve tried really hard to just, one person, right?
31:11 I mean, that’s why I started my podcast.
31:12 I’m like, if my mom’s the only one that listens to that.
31:14 Yeah, then that’s great.
31:15 You know, then, hi mom, I actually, I just recorded another podcast before this and it’s called, it’s ok to not be ok because I’m not ok.
31:26 I’m going through a lot right now.
31:28 We just lost our entire house, our entire community, my husbands from Lahaina and we lost everything and my uncle probably he lost his home, his shop on Front Street.
31:39And I’m devastated.
31:41 Like I ordered an entire thing of crumble cookies.
31:45 The other night I had it door dashed to my dad and I ate all of them and I looked her and, like, I was just like, I’m not going to look you in the eye because, like, I know, you know, that these are all for me.
31:57 Yeah.
31:58 Yeah.
31:58 Well, you know, I’m sorry to hear that.
32:00 That’s terrible.
32:01 Like, there’s, and that’s my point is everyone’s going through something that, you know, nothing about.
32:07 And so I get very frustrated in the, like, selfishness and the, the anger that people have and I’m just, like, be kind, like, that’s literally all you have is your ability to choose to be kind like that’s it.
32:19 Right.
32:20 Absolutely.
32:20 And I think that it’s ok to that and that’s what my podcast was about was like, it’s ok to not be ok and to talk about it, like, I had a, like, I had a panic attack last week because it was, it was just, like, too much, like, just mow up.
32:37 And I was telling my friends out on Friday and like, we usually just go to dinner, and we have fun, and we laugh and I was like, so and it gets back and they’re like, oh, you’re really killing the boat.
32:47 You know, I’m like, well, I’m like, I know, I know, I just, like my perspective is that like, I don’t want to be a person that, oh, this is what triggered it.
33:01 I got a message that said, like, I want to know how, like, how do you juggle it all and you do it so well with your horses and your kids and your job and your stuff and I hope someday would be there.
33:11 And I was like, damn it.
33:13 Like if that’s the message that I’m sending, like I bought it all together.
33:16 Like I don’t, I don’t have it all together.
33:19 And sometimes like right now, like the laundry is not done, the dishes aren’t done.
33:24 Like the kids barely got like they just got putting in their lunch today like I don’t have it all together, you know, like I’m going to be so happy about the blood.
33:34 They’re like, yes moms messy.
33:36 They’re like finally putting, they love it, right?
33:39 So I just don’t want to be somebody that says like, you have to be perfect, and you have to have it all together because like it’s ok to go through stuff and it’s ok to not be ok.
33:52 But like the message I want to send is like, for me it’s not ok to like to set up shop in that like Victim like this horrible thing happened to me and I’m going to live here, I’m going to stay here.
34:04 Like that’s like, it was like, I’m going to eat some damn cookies and we’re going to move forward, you know, like I’m going to go get help and I went to just sort out all the people that I knew that I needed to get to help me and move forward because like the only way through this is to move and to not stay where I’m at.
34:22 And I just, I hate that part of social media that says everyone’s doing perfect, you know, and it’s like, then you look at a message and you go, well, if they’re fine and I’m not, then I guess I’m not allowed to ever not be OK.
34:39 And that’s like, yeah.
34:41 Yeah.
34:41 Yeah, totally.
34:43 I agree with all of that 100%.
34:45 I feel that way very often.
34:48 And like I said, I, I struggled at first to share my failures and I actually, one of my other battles is I’m diagnosed OCD.
34:57 I am obsessive compulsive disorder.
34:59 So I am just went to the doctor and he was like, here’s some medicine for that.
35:04 Yeah, I literally, no, I will never forget my doctor.
35:08 I love him so much.
35:09 He was trying to be so polite with my feelings and he’s just like, I think that you tend to obsess over things and he’s like trying so polite to be like, I think you’re OCD.
35:19 And I’m like, oh yeah, 100%.
35:20 0h yeah.
35:21 No, he’s like, not my applicant, interior designer contract or not.
35:26 Like, I mean, come on like that, who else is supposed to know that?
35:29 Like the freaking paid line is not straight or ca is wrong or like the tile is incorrect?
35:33 Like who else?
35:35 100%?
35:36 So he’s trying to be so sweet.
35:37 And I’m like, oh yeah, no question.
35:38 So and he’s like, oh my gosh, ok, like great, glad that you’re aware.
35:41 So I had called my mom after and I was like, so I just got diagnosed with OCD and I was like, yeah, it was like, it was just so funny, like I’m so aware, my family’s aware or whatever, right?
35:50 And I’m very, again, I live on a schedule.
35:55 I’m very like everything has a place, everything has a time.
35:59 It’s just how my brain works.
36:00 And every Monday I clean my house and do laundry without fail.
36:04 I can’t miss it.
36:04 It’s just how I function, and I would share it and I would get like, oh, there’s no way your house looks like this all the time.
36:12 And I would get the negative bash like of having a clean home.
36:14 And I was like, well, if my home was dirty, you guys would tell me I’m disgusting.
36:17 And I, I just like in that cycle of like, you can’t win.
36:21 So you might as well just not do it.
36:24 And so then I finally was like, that’s not true.
36:26 You can’t win.
36:26 You can’t please everybody.
36:27 But I’m going to do what pleases me.
36:29 Yeah.
36:29 And when I started just sharing it because that’s what I do.
36:34 And it’s who I am.
36:34 People would be like; it’s so motivating that you make your bed every day.
36:37 It’s so motivating that you clean and do your laundry every Monday.
36:40 And so once I shifted my perception, right?
36:43 And even being like, ok, well, maybe there’s more of a jealousy factor that they can’t do that.
36:48 And I’m like, however everybody’s system looks different, everybody’s brain works different.
36:54 Everybody, you know, when I am struggling, and I am anxious cleaning is what brings me peace.
37:00 Yeah.
37:01 Yeah.
37:01 To have other people when they’re anxious or depressed, right?
37:04 They, they don’t want to do those things, which is funny.
37:07 But I found I was getting like a negative bash shock for something that was working for me.
37:12 And I was like; this is where it gets hard.
37:15 This is why people don’t share their struggles or their success is even because it’s like, well, you’re not really back from your life.
37:21 Oh Yeah.
37:22 You know how much anxiety I have right now, my freaking is clean.
37:27 I know my husband actually like will have people that he works with.
37:31 They’ll be like, is your house really that clean all the time?
37:34 And the guys that like he’s friends put that up come over.
37:36 They’re like, oh, yeah, man.
37:37 Or alcohol is just like that.
37:39 I’m always like, well, also we don’t have Children.
37:42 Right.
37:42 I’m picking up after two adults, Children and my house looks like that.
37:46 But that’s like, because, but yeah, the chaos causes me chaos 100%.
37:52 Like I can’t live, and I need it in a certain way.
37:55 And like, when you open my pantry and people are like, oh my God, I’m like, what?
38:00 Like that, I know that’s normal.
38:02 Ok?
38:02 Just because it’s labeled, and everything is facing the right way with the granola virus.
38:07 Like give me a damn break.
38:09 Yeah, I know 100.
38:11 So I’m glad you can relate because I think that like we were saying before, there’s a positive and a negative in almost anything you share, right?
38:17 So, and like I said, if I want to show them the house, it’d be like you’re gross and when I show the clean house, they like you’re lying.
38:22 I’m like, ok, well, it’s up to your perception.
38:25 Yeah, you do what you want with that information but when you come here, you can most likely eat off the floor and you’ll be fine.
38:32 Yeah, you can just take your shoes off when you come in.
38:33 It actually just doesn’t fit on anything.
38:38 I, you don’t come over actually just don’t come over.
38:42 Let me try Starbucks.
38:44 Yeah.
38:45 Oh my God.
38:46 That’s so funny.
38:46 Oh, see I told you we’d be friends.
38:49 I know.
38:50 I love it.
38:50 We’re great friends.
38:52 Oh, it’s so beautiful.
38:54 Ok.
38:54 What else is there any just like little?
38:57 I mean, I think you’ve sent such a beautiful message.
39:00 Like, to be kind to be authentic, to be vulnerable.
39:03 Don’t be afraid to, like, step into, like, the wholeness of who you are.
39:07 And I have to tell you, Jamie that you staying in that other job, you’ve never would have realized these things about yourself and owned them at such a young age.
39:17 I am like going on 83 and I still haven’t figured it out.
39:21 You know, like this is not the game we play called life.
39:25 Do we ever have it figured out?
39:27 But I’m just saying like, what a beautiful gift, like you will get to share that and know that from like a young age that like this is who you are, and you own it and like you aren’t afraid of it and you can like, step into that.
39:41 And I didn’t figure that out until much later.
39:45 And I just think that that’s such a beautiful thing to know about yourself.
39:49 And that like if the one like win in this journey for you is that that like, there’s just an unshakeable foundation of who you are because you know, like what you can stand up to and who you are, and your husband is always going to support you.
40:04 Like, that’s such a beautiful thing to have grasped and learn up into this point and continue on 100%.
40:13 Yeah, I mean, like you said, I think my biggest thing is just, I’m always like, just be kind and be yourself.
40:19 Like you will not be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s fine.
40:22 Some people don’t like tea, drink soda, like that’s great, you know.
40:27 Yeah, like surround yourself with people who like, love you for you and, but I also like, want to encourage people to like surround yourself with people who make you want to be better.
40:38 Yeah.
40:38 And not just like, because that’s another thing that for me, like if you don’t want to grow or learn anything then like sit in your corner and be sad, that’ll be fine, right?
40:48 But it’s not going to get you anywhere.
40:50 Like I said, the only choice you have is to choose to be or to choose to be happy basically to just choose how you’re going to handle what life will do.
40:58 Yes, absolutely.
41:00 Thank you so much.
41:01 And I want to can you share with people like where they can find you hire you.
41:05 I know we did about interior design but trust me, she’s really good.
41:10 That’s ok.
41:11 That’s ok.
41:11 I honestly like it’s funny because people, I get this compliment all the time, these two compliments and they used to kind of like hurl my brain off a little bit.
41:20 I get when people meet me in person, they say you’re the same as you are on social media as you are in person.
41:25 And I used to blow my mind.
41:26 I’m like, that was such a confusing concept.
41:28 And now I’m like, I understand.
41:30 But yeah, and then there can be two different people that would show up online and would show up in person, I imagine.
41:36 Yeah.
41:36 And I, I used to get that a lot and then people say I found you because of your design or I followed you because of your design.
41:43 And I stayed for who you are as a person.
41:45 I get that compliment.
41:47 And that one to me is just like, so rewarding.
41:50 I’m like you saw a value in what I’m providing, but then you saw even more of a value in me as a whole.
41:57 Yeah, I love that.
41:58 That’s all.
42:00 And that was that one.
42:01 It’s like, thank you.
42:04 OK, so thank you.
42:05 So where they can follow you hire you.
42:09 Yeah, I’m primarily on Instagram.
42:11 It’s Jamie Lee underscore design and then it’s the same on TikTok and Facebook.
42:18 It’s the same handle everywhere.
42:20 But I am primarily on Instagram.
42:22 You can always just DM me.
42:23 That’s another thing.
42:24 I pride myself at always responding to my DM because someone took that millisecond out of their day to say something kind to me.
42:31 It is in my best interest and just who I am to respond.
42:34 So sometimes it takes me a minute to get back, but I always respond, and I just try really hard to help people see value in themselves as well as their home.
42:45 That’s an added benefit.
42:47 Absolutely.
42:48 It’s been such a pleasure to get to know you and like the beautiful things you’re putting out into the world, both with who you are and what you do.
42:55 And thank you for being a guest.
42:57 Thank you for having me.
42:59 I really appreciate it.
43:00 Of course.
43:00 Ok, have a fantastic day.
43:02 Ok, You too.
43:03 Bye bye.
43:06 Thanks for joining me today on the She Build Show.
43:09 My name is Stefanie Olson.
43:10 My hope is that this episode leaves you feeling empowered and ready to boldly take that step into building the life that you envision 12×4 at a time.
43:20 And if you can do me a quick favor, please leave me a five-star review on iTunes.
43:24 I get giddy over reading the reviews each week and I will choose one special person to win some She Builds swag.
43:31 Make sure you add your name to the review, and I’ll reach out if you’re the winner.
43:34 Thanks again for hanging out.
43:36 Be sure to visit me at theSheBuildsShow.com or you can ask me questions and share with me what you’re building.